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Walking my dogs is the best part of my day because our walks are my main exercise. Our walks allow me to unwind from the day and boost my mental health. Plus, I love this uninterrupted time with my dogs. I find it fascinating watching them explore as we walk. Most of our walks go uninterrupted. There are occasions when someone wants to pet my dogs or introduce their dogs to my dogs – and the answer is always “no.” Sometimes, people respect my answer; sometimes, people get a little bent out of shape. How someone responds isn't my concern; my priority is keeping my dogs safe.

Not Everyone Knows How to Interact with Dogs

I had an interesting discussion with someone who left me slack-jawed as he described the situation – he thought it was cute, and I was horrified.

Him: You'll love my son, he always screams: “CAN I PET YOUR DOG???” as he approaches people because he loves dogs so much. I bet you’d appreciate that.

Me: Not really. When I’m walking my dogs, I’d prefer to be left alone. My dogs aren't socialized around children and I can’t predict how they’d react to a screaming child approaching them. I’m already going to be tense when this happens, my dogs will pick up on that, and the interaction may not go well.

Him: But it’s polite that he ask first instead of just running over to you and you can just say “no.” [but he said his son screams the request as he approaches]

Me: Or, you can just watch us walk by from afar and leave us alone. I don’t walk my dogs so that they can be pet by strangers and if my dog bites your excited kid, you’ll be mad at me instead of asking yourself if it was a good idea to approach a woman walking several dogs who you don’t know.

Paraphrasing a Discussion

Understanding Your Dogs

I believe it's important that I advocate for my dogs in all situations. I'm fortunate to live in a community where parents don't allow their children to approach dogs they don't know, so I rarely encounter excited children or adults who love to pet all the dogs. I have three dogs with three different personalities. One likes to watch from a distance but not engage. One wants to meet everyone (and every dog). And the third wants to meet people and dogs, but she's nervous.

I walk two or three dogs at a time, and my focus is on their energy—are they engaged, suspicious, nervous, or excited (good or bad)? When someone comes into our space without warning, a nice walk can turn to crap in seconds as one dog goes into protection mode, one gets excited about a new friend, and the third gets freaked out. I now have to work to get 200 dogs to focus on me again to continue our walk (or head home).

The point of this is to share that when I walk my dogs, I'm walking big dogs, and I want to focus on them. I don't want to have to worry about someone's child or someone's exuberant dog. Know what I mean?

Where I Walk My Dogs

I walk my dogs in areas and at times when we're least likely to have our walk interrupted. I don't take my dogs to areas near a park with children or on a path heavily populated with other dog walkers and joggers. I like areas that allow us to cross the street or a wide berth so we can see people and dogs, but we still have at least 10 feet of distance.

Our property borders a popular trail but is too narrow (about 10 feet) for a pack walk. So I go on two or three walks daily, with early morning and dusk being the best times. Although the trail is convenient, we have more enjoyable and successful walks on other trails in our town.

How and When I Approach Dogs and Their Humans

I live in the Pacific Northwest, and I see dogs every day; I have approached people to ask if I could pet their dog, but before I approach, an assessment is necessary:

1 – Is the person in a hurry or exhibiting the “don't bother me” signs?

This person is walking purposefully, and if they have a small dog, they may start carrying it to make tracks faster. This person may also be wearing earbuds or headphones, talking on a phone, or intentionally refusing eye contact.

Except for the small dog, this is me when I'm walking with my dogs, and I genuinely don't want to be bothered. Usually, when someone is open to having you approach, they make eye contact as they smile in recognition of a fellow dog lover. When I get that smile, I feel more comfortable asking if I can pet their dog.

2 – Is the dog open to my approach?

It's not just the dog owner that I need to consider. I also need to take stock of the dog. If the dog is alone and looking for his or her owner, then I leave the dog alone. If the dog is overexcited and anxious (jumping, barking, growling, hackles raised, tail tucked down – there are many signs), then I won't add to the dog's anxiety by touching/petting the dog.

From personal experience, when one of my dogs is anxious, my focus is to get my dog out of the situation. If someone approaches us, I get more anxious, which my dog picks up and worsens. So when I see a nervous dog, I smile from afar and move on.

Cyclists are The Best!

I'm confident that there are more steps we can take to determine if it's okay to approach a dog and their human, but the above is what works for me. I have cyclists to thank for that too. I often walk my dogs on a popular trail near our home, and we walk past many cyclists on our 3-5 mile trek. I love that 99% of the cyclists will keep it moving. They love dogs and often say, “hey, pooches!” as they ride by, but no one stops to pet my dogs.

But I do love all of the jokes:

• Who's walking whom?
• Looks like you need a sled!
• Those dogs look like they're walking YOU!
• Ahhh, so the dogs decided to take you for a walk, eh!
• That's a lot of dogs you have there!

Surprisingly, no one thinks I'm a dog walker, pet sitter, or dog breeder.

Children and Dogs

So, if you have children, you may be reading this post written by a woman who is obviously an introvert and seemingly hates people. I don't hate people (although I do love dogs more), and I don't hate children. What bugs me is when someone feels that what they want (or what their child wants) trumps the comfort of my dogs (or me).

When you allow your child to approach me, a stranger, and my dogs, you're assuming that my dogs have been socialized around children. They haven't. My dogs haven't spent time around children because I don't spend time around children. I don't actively avoid children; I don't have any kids, and few of my friends have kids.

While I think it's GREAT that people teach their children to ask if they can pet our dogs before approaching, I hope they're also teaching their children that if we say “no,” then we need them to walk away with no hard feelings.

My Dogs Are Socialized

People often misunderstand what socialization means. I used to think socialization included introducing my dogs to people and other dogs. As a result, I took my dogs to the dog park (bad idea for us) and would allow any and everyone to greet them (bad idea for us).

Socialization aims to help puppies become used to different sights, sounds and smells so they don't develop anxiety when introduced to new things—like bicycles, riding in cars, or walking in new places. Socialization doesn't only mean introducing our dogs to strangers.

I socialize my dogs, one at a time, by taking them to dog-friendly businesses. When we go to these places, I understand that people will want to pet my dogs – it's expected, and I'm here for it. We also participate in pack walks with dogs we know and trust.

Reactive Dogs aren't Unsocialized Dogs

There is a myth that reactive dogs weren't socialized. I understand why someone would feel this way, but it's untrue. People often think a reactive dog is aggressive because of the barking and lunging, but this can be fear-based or my dog is over-aroused.

I've learned to pay attention to my dogs, understand their triggers, and set them up for success through training.

I Don't Want to Teach People How to Interact with Dogs

I recognize that those of us who have dogs have an opportunity to raise awareness of how to interact with dogs. I share my experience through this blog and on social media. But when I'm out with my dogs, I want to focus on them. So, I'm always polite when declining someone's request to pet my dogs. I do not owe anyone an explanation, and I won't change my mind.

At the end of a day or week, I want to walk in peace with my dogs. I don't want to educate people about how to approach my dogs, discuss dog training and behavior, or defend my right to set boundaries.

Read More About Raising Dogs

• Books to Help Dog Owners Feed Their Dog Better
• 3 Reasons Why Dogs Put Their Paw on Their Owner
• The Ultimate Guide to Choosing the Perfect Stuffed Dog Toys
• Is it Possible to Prevent Littermate Syndrome in Puppies?
• How Preventing Strangers from Petting My Dogs Improved Our Walks

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