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Did you hear what the Pope said about pet parents? I had to search a little to find an article that was more focused on his comments than how offensive they were – pet parents are mad – so, let's discuss.
“In a report made by Fox News, Pope Francis said, “Today we see a form of selfishness. We see that some people do not want to have a child. Sometimes they have one, and that's it, but they have … dogs and cats that take the place of children.” ~ Read More at TheList.com
“People who have pets instead of children, the pope said, were being selfish, exhibiting a “denial of fatherhood or motherhood” that “diminishes us, it takes away our humanity.” ~ Read More at NYTimes.com
Am I Selfish for NOT Having Kids?
When I saw this shared on Facebook, three questions immediately popped into my mind:
- Am I selfish for not having kids?
- Am I offended by these statements?
- I wonder what else the Pope had to say?
So I wrote a well thought out statement and shared the article on Facebook and sat back and waited for the insightful discussion I was about to have with my fellow pet parents because I knew that people would have thoughts. There were a few insightful comments, but the rest of the comments were a combination of:
- I don't care what the Pope has to say.
- This pisses me off/This offends me.
- The Pope is a hypocrite because he doesn't have kids.
So I deleted the discussion and went on with my life. But I couldn't stop thinking about the Pope's comments. And here we are.
Is Being a Pet Parent a Form of Selfishness?
Two things appear to be the main triggers in his statements: calling pet parents selfish and equating loving a pet to a loss in humanity. Lots to unpack, so let's start with the selfishness.
According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, a selfish person is “1 : concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others. 2 : arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in disregard of others a selfish act.”
I didn't plan NOT to have kids; kids just didn't happen for me and I wasn't heart broken about it. Kids are great, but I never received a biological clock. I haven't felt a loss.
But I can understand where the Pope is coming from, although I don't agree with his statements.
I'm Catholic Adjacent, So I Think…
I was raised in the church and attended Catholic school through university. I'm not a Catholic so what I share is just my thoughts having sat on the sidelines for a decade. And this is why I understand where the Pope is coming from:
- Catholic priests and nuns take a vow of celibacy (let's leave the scandals out of this one), which is why they don't have children. However, they are leaders in the church and their messages kind of come from God and are meant to keep the flock on the right path – making babies.
- One of God's edict to humans was to go forth and propagate – and boy did we ever. So much so that Thanos is starting to look like the good guy in that Avenger's conflict. Anyway, if we stop spreading our seed, then we're not honoring God. That disregard is what makes people who choose not to have children appear selfish in the Pope's eyes.
At least, that's how I see it.
Why the Pope is Wrong
The obvious disagreement would involve people who have tried to have children and weren't able to fulfill this dream. To say that a choice to share their lives with animals is selfish is cruel. But I don't think that's who the Pope had in mind. I think he was referring to people who are actively making the choice NOT to have kids.
I very much believe in God, but I don't share many of the beliefs that I learned in church. I believe that God wants us all to reach our highest potential. I think God wants us to be happy, to appreciate and learn from each moment, and know that we can create our reality.
I'm happiest when I focus on my dogs. And my joy extends to my relationships, my job, social media, my health, and my mental health. And I believe that dogs can teach us many things to help us reach our highest potential. So, to me, choosing to delay or not have kids because you're not ready, but opening your home and life to an animal and showing them love in the meantime is beautiful.
Choosing Pets Diminishes Our Humanity?
The other statement the Pope made was that pet parents are ” exhibiting a “denial of fatherhood or motherhood” that “diminishes us, it takes away our humanity.“
According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, Humanity is (1) the quality or state of being human, (2) the quality or state of being kind to other people or to animals, (3) all people.
This one I can't explain away and now I understand all the comments about cleaning up his own house before judging others. Yeah, glass houses, Pope, glass houses.
I think one of the most human things we can do is connect with an animal and the reason I say this is because I've seen animals change people for the better.
- our dogs turned my partner into a dog lover who tells people about my blog
- our dogs helped me find balance with my mental health
- our dogs teach us how to love without rules
- our dogs help us live in the moment
- our dogs teach us how to forgive
- our dogs keep us in shape and healthy
- our dogs inspire us to learn better and do better every day
- our dogs are always happy to see us
- when everyone else is gone, our dogs will still be there
When I read this part of this statements, I immediately thought of the people I work with in the rescue world. I have watched these women and men perform miracles as they save thousands of dogs and cats of all ages. They certainly don't lack humanity.
Are These Statements Offensive?
I think we became a world where we're offended by everything when we started posting our every thought for the world to see. So, when I checked in with my internal Bureau of Offended Affairs, I was told that “no,” the Pope's statements did not qualify as something for me to be offended by.
I don't know that man and he don't know me. And he got bigger fish to fry than worry about my uterus.
But others might be offended and when I was reading comments, I began to understand why people may be triggered.
- Although the comments were directed to people who actively chose not to have children, people who struggled to have children might feel some kind of way. Especially if they're hearing this crap from others.
- People choosing not to have kids because they're not emotionally, financially, professionally, or mentally stable or mature enough for children might feel some kind of way. Especially if they're hearing this crap from others.
- Parents who did have a child and tragedy struck. They may feel some kind of way. Especially if they're hearing this crap from others.
So, those are my random thoughts about the Pope's comments on choosing pets over children. That dude needs to watch the Avengers movies. I'm not Team Thanos or anything, but I bet The Snap freed up a few resources while the planet healed itself. Just saying.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Very interesting and well-thought-out points.
In my son’s 6th grade class there was a boy who proudly announced one day that it doesn’t matter what he thinks about any topic—that the church does his thinking for him, and he agrees with their stance on everything.
Isn’t this throwing our gift of free will right back in God’s face?
What is missed in this conversation are a few important points:
1) If a person’s own life was riddled with trauma and said person has decided that having a child could cause that trauma to propagate within that child, that is reckless at best. It’s incumbent upon parents to heal their own wounds, or they just keep infecting generation after generation. Let’s take Trump for example-his daddy issues have already killed hundreds of thousands and are stoking a race war..
2) Having pets is wonderful training for some, for having a child.
3) if someone knows themself well enough to know they don’t have, or don’t want to make the bandwidth available for the all-consuming job of raising a child, that, to me, is responsible thinking. We don’t need more emotionally broken people walking the earth.
4) The earth and it’s species are dying at an alarming rate. Authoritarianism, climate change, and unbridled capitalism are the death knell for us all. Our planet and its inhabitants are crying out for meaningful change and all we can do is worship the almighty dollar. Therefore, it’s incredibly selfish to keep having children while in denial of the suffering that is already at their doorstep.
Man isn’t God. Men have prove to themselves incapable of serving as responsible surrogates of God. Don’t believe it? Look around you and be honest about what you see.
Having children at this point is selfish, wishful thinking. It’s reckless and naive to think it’s all going to work out.